Yoga & Depression
There’s always some study or other about the benefits of yoga and how it can improve mindset, reduce stress and depression and help you to live a more joyful life. This article is NOT a study or collection of citations, this is my personal experience of the yoga practice and how it has changed my life for the better...
I don’t talk about this very often, but there was a period of my life during my late teens when I was very depressed. I’ve always been a very sensitive person and some experiences that I went through during my high school years affected me very deeply and I didn’t have the tools or coping mechanisms to deal with them at that time.
When you’re a teenager, or even as an adult, we don’t always have the option to just leave a negative situation and over time that can really take its toll on our spirit. Aged 14 I dreamed of running away and starting over somewhere new, but I still had two years of high school and then college to get through first.
How depression manifested for me
Since running away was not an option and going to school felt like torture, I stayed at home a lot and as a result my energy was extremely low, my mood was constantly grey and I could barely leave the house without bursting into tears. I’m so lucky that I had amazing parents who looked after me so well during that time but it was also a very VERY dark and lonely time and one I don’t like to revisit often.
I’m sharing this now because I feel brave enough to be truly vulnerable and my hope is that in doing so, I help others to share their vulnerabilities too…
In my twenties I came out of the other side of this dark period and, although I have the occasional bad day or week, I no longer suffer from depression. I still get stressed and anxious sometimes - as most of us do in this overly heightened life we now live - but I feel that that challenging time taught me a lot about the power of resilience and mindset and the steps it takes to learn how to choose how you WANT to feel and always keep the bigger picture in mind.
To get to that point was no walk in the park. I took medication for a while in order to simply feel ‘ok’ and then I had counselling and later CBT to help boost my resilience and reshape some of the unhelpful thought patterns.
But the real shift happened for me when I started practicing yoga.
I went from being someone whose brain was constantly on a rinse and repeat cycle, to someone who could spend an hour focusing on nothing but my body and breath. The realisation that my busy mind could actually switch off - even if only for 60 minutes on the mat - was a revelation, and it literally changed my life.
When I could quieten my mind, I could also think a little more clearly. I could start to choose where to focus my energy and begin to build a life that felt good for ME.
I got to know myself a little more, I did a lot of self-study and self-reflection (both parts of the yogic path that don’t get emphasised as much as the physical practice) and I began to understand where I was out of balance and why perhaps some people might thrive in certain situations whereas I much preferred others. I gained physical strength but also the mental strength that it takes to say no to people and places that didn’t fulfil my soul and instead to walk a different path that was more in-line with my true calling.
I stopped hanging out with people who I didn’t feel good around and built up a network of independent, free-spirited, intelligent and sensitive women who inspired me to realise that I was all of those things too. I left comfort zones and ventured across the world and dared to be bold enough to believe that the shy sensitive girl could also be successful. That the dreams of a 14-year old with her head in a book reading about the protagonist in a story, could go out and create her own tales of triumph.
Some days I still feel like the 14-year old shy dreamer and other days I feel like a strong and confident leader. Ebbs and flows.
None of this transformational tale is something that happened after 1 class, or even 10 classes...
It’s something that only comes with consistent practice (sorry if you were looking for a quick fix). You won’t even notice it at first, you might simply have a moment of contentment or peace or you’ll react a little differently to something that would have previously made you scream. But those small moments of change that do occur, suddenly become bigger moments and one day you realise that you’re not someone who has depression or who is too sensitive and soft for this world.
You may still be sensitive but you are also STRONG and BRAVE and RESILIENT and FIERCE.
So anyone who’s reading this and having a bad day, or a bad year, or who suffers from depression. I see you, I feel you, you’ve got this!
Life does get better and if you want to give a yoga class a try please reach out to me and you can join your first class for free. I’m not promising any miracles, I’m just sharing what has worked for me.
