The braver I get, the luckier I am
Do you know the first time I went solo travelling I was just 21 years old. I'd never left home for longer than a few weeks at a time (for Uni) and back then, whenever I had a bad day I'd simply call up my dad and he'd drive up to Leeds to collect me.
Making the choice to do something I dreamed of but which scared the hell out of me wasn't lucky, it took courage.
After uni, I had a full-time job at a PR company and got a second job in a local pub so that I could save up to buy a round-the-world-ticket that would take me from Thailand to Australia to New Zealand, Fiji and then LA. The ticket was for a 12-month trip but I told everyone I was just going for a few months as I was so scared that I wouldn't like it and that I'd have to come home with my tail between my legs.
The truth is, I had a panic-attack in my hotel room the night before my flight and called up my friend in tears. “I can’t do this”, I said. But I got on that plane and took my first brave step forwards.
There were plenty of other times in the 14-months that I ended up being away that I wanted to go home and at one point I actually changed my flight and almost gave up. Thankfully fate stepped in and I got offered a job - it was like a sliding doors moment, do I stay and keep trying, or do I go home and give up?
I'm so glad I stayed. It was the start of a life-long love affair with travelling and with pushing myself to be brave when inside my stomach was knotting or anxiety was pumping on my chest telling me it would be easier to stay home, stay small, stay safe.
And the thing is, once you take a leap, taking the next one doesn't get any easier but you know that, just maybe, it might be worth the discomfort and the fear because once you get to the other side it's often better than you ever could have dreamed.
I still count that year as one of the best of my life. It was the year that made me, that pulled me out of my 'shy' shell and showed me who I really was.
Moving to London
My next big leap was moving to London at 24. I didn't know a soul in that sprawling city except for my (now ex) boyfriend and in truth, I'd never actually been to London before and hadn't particularly wanted to. But once you get the taste of adventure, it's very hard to go back to the comfort zone and so I persisted; through awful bosses, crappy housemates, a roller coaster relationship and then ultimately single life.
That decade in London was the most challenging and rewarding of my life. I was no longer the little girl who'd call up her dad every time something went wrong, and instead, whenever life got too much I'd take myself off on another solo adventure; Central America, Africa, the Philippines, or wherever took my fancy. And every time, I'd panic just before leaving, but I'd always come back feeling stronger, prouder and more confident in myself.
In my 30's, I got a better job, a cosy flat, a regular teaching slot at an amazing yoga studio and a new boyfriend. In truth, life was great. But, there was a niggling voice inside telling me not to give up on my real dream.
Moving to Spain
Ever since that first taste of adventure in my twenties, I knew that I'd never be happy settling without giving my beach dream another shot. I convinced my boyfriend that life could be even better if we simply lived somewhere warmer and more immersed in nature and so far, I've not been wrong. London is an amazing city, but we were so busy being busy that it sometimes felt like we weren't really living. There's something about being in another country that makes you stop and appreciate exactly where you are. We've made amazing friends, I've been thrown into the deep end with an un-planned (but wished for) career change and we couldn't be happier.
The moral of this story is not to leave home and go travelling (although I'd encourage everyone to do that at least once) but to stop and ask yourself, what would I do if I wasn't afraid? Where would I be and with who? This year hasn't been the easiest when it comes to following our dreams, but it has given us the time to stop and take stock so that when the time comes maybe we'll have a bit more courage to go chasing after them!
